Grief at Work: Navigating the Office

Grief at work touches almost every employee at some point, and few offices are set up to help people navigate it well. Grief takes many forms that shift across weeks, months and even years: it can be sad, frustrating, lonely, confusing, and every combination in between. One thing often overlooked in the conversation is that, in social situations, it is also just plain awkward.

That awkwardness is sharper in the workplace, where relationships are more hierarchical and distanced, and where productivity and clarity are still expected. We're asked to "perform" and "manage", neither of which comes easily during loss. The discomfort runs both ways: for the person grieving, and for colleagues who want to be supportive but worry about saying or doing the wrong thing in such an intimate situation.

How to Deal with Loss in the Workplace

Grief will touch most of us at some point, and work takes up a large share of our lives, so here is our guidance for navigating grief at the office, whether you've lost someone or want to support a colleague who has. For a deeper look at the emotional side of loss, read a psychologist's perspective on grief.

Returning to Work While You're Grieving

• Remember that your team members and others may not know how you feel. When you're deeply emotional inside, it can be easy to assume everyone can read your mind, but that's rarely the case when you're navigating loss at work. It can be tough to speak up when you're not at your best, but try to be honest. If you need support, or a bit more space, or more time on a project, tell at least one person on your team and let them help you get the message out.
• Some workplaces offer resources for grieving employees, including counselling or other types of support. Ask your manager or your HR team what's available to you.
• Be kind to yourself, in the office and at home. Grief cannot be rushed, even against a work deadline, and it doesn't move in a straight line. Foggy brain and difficulty concentrating are a common experience for many people while grieving. Rest well at home, drink water, take short breaks during the day and get some fresh air, and eat well whenever you can.

If your team wants a more structured, expert-led approach to supporting people through loss, grief coach and speaker Louise Dillon works directly with organisations on exactly this.

Supporting a Grieving Colleague in the Office

• First and foremost, share your sympathy. A simple, hand-written card left on their desk can be a meaningful way to express solidarity and support. If your relationship is closer, share your condolences with them personally.
• Avoid statements like "he's in a better place now", which can fall flat or feel tone-deaf. Focus instead on the fact that you're sorry they've lost someone they loved. "I'm really sorry for your loss" is enough.
• Invite them out for a coffee or a walk around the block. Keep it easy: "I'm getting some fresh air, coffee, or lunch, care to join me?" leaves the door open. If they refuse, don't press. If they accept, keep things light unless they raise the subject themselves. It may be the moment of calm they need.
• Help pick up the slack. Grief can cause physical pain and can also reduce focus and organisational skills. If you see a colleague struggling, offer to help with reports, emails, or anything else.
• Remember that grief doesn't follow a project timeline. It's easy to become frustrated when a colleague doesn't seem to be "getting over it" or "moving on". Be patient and offer support wherever you can.

Supporting Employee Grief as an Employer

• Create a thoughtful grief policy and build it into how your business operates. Consider granting extra time off, and put clear, caring communication around loss in place.
• Send something to the family. A well-chosen sympathy gift from the business shows you value your team as people, not just employees.
• Schedule a support meeting for your grieving staff member. Keep it small, a group or a one-on-one, share your sympathy, and ask directly what they need.
• Put together a toolkit of resources for grieving employees. A short list of websites, podcasts, books or other helpful services, offered with a handwritten note, goes a long way.
• Be patient. Grief ignores calendars and deadlines and can disrupt performance for longer than expected. Consider lowering goals temporarily or reassigning tasks. This kind of support builds loyalty and can lift morale and wellbeing across the team.

Corporate culture expert and New York Times bestselling author Adrian Gostick speaks on the workplace practices that help teams support each other through hard times, and career coach Elyssa Desai works with individuals on the specific challenge of returning to work after a major loss. Both are worth considering if your organisation wants to go beyond a one-off conversation. For related reading, see our roundup of mental health speakers for workplace wellbeing and our piece on supporting family caregivers, another form of loss and stress that often goes unspoken at work.

Could your team use the support of an expert speaker on grief and loss at work? Explore our workplace wellbeing speakers, email the team at hello@getapeptalk.com, or use the live chat, and we'll help you find the right person. You can also call us on +44 20 3835 2929 (UK) or +1 737 888 5112 (US). Remember, it's always a good time to get a PepTalk!